Christina (mysticoddessy) wrote,

big blue bug eyes

so... there's this boy that reminds me of a boy that I know (Drew Stone), and they even have the same first name... it's actually kinda creepy. And it's really weird because every time I am around this boy... I just stare. I'm sure that he notices, but really... I don't even care. All that is cool and all... but the thing is, I keep having dreams about this new Drew (he goes by Andrew). And I see him everyday, and I almost creepy myself out thinking about how I dream about him and we've never actually had a real conversation. I think the reason why I'm so "infatuated" with this boy is because I make him take on the personality of Drew Stone... and I would die to have that boy.
Moving on... I've noticed something... I've become quite different over the passed few months, mostly since I left Texas. I think that I've grown up a bit... but I'm not so sure that's a good thing in this instance, only because I almost feel like I've lost touch with the things that made me a good person... or at least fun to be around. I don't really keep up with the things that I used to... and the things that rarely ever crossed my mind have become a bit more important. The thing that's really bothering me is that I don't ever write anymore... and that's something that I used to believe was putting the air in my lungs. But going back and reading what I used to say... I notice that I never wrote about good times, everything was always negative... and that sad things is, that's how I really felt. And don't get me wrong... I think most would agree when I say that it was certainly well put... but it seemed like I was always so tortured. So I don't know if my lack of inspiration for writing is coming from my change of emotions... or if I just have writers block. It's quite a confusing thing to try and put into words.
So... there's a big event coming up, and it's something that I'm gonna have to do on my own... and it scares me. I don't really want to go into detail about what the event is... only because I think that some things are better left unknown to some people... but eventually, when the truth can be handled, I'll tell the whole freaking world. But yeah... it's very tormenting to be alone when you need someone the most. And I honestly haven't known the depth of that statement until now. But fuck it man... I'm strong.

I locked my keys in my car today... and I don't even own a spare set. So what does that mean??... that means that I had to get a hanger and break into my own car. But it wasn't even that easy... I couldn't unlock the door, because of the way that my car is.... so I had to roll down the window far enough so that I could reach my hand in and unlock it. And oh boy.... let me tell you, rolling down a window with a hanger isn't a bundle of fun.
Moral of the story?... don't lock your keys in the car
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big event?

what's wrong?


March 2 2004, 15:54:54 UTC 14 years ago

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